News

Whew, it’s too sunny out for news! (A cartoon news imp appears.) “Oh-ho, well then, I will erase all news from the world forever.” Nooo, Mr. News, I didn’t mean it!! “Well, okay…”

I don’t know about you, but I am keeping cool today! It turns out you can access the internet from inside an enormous block of ice. They told me I was being sealed in here for my crimes… well who’s laughing now?

If I gave you a gift called news… would you take it?

Sipping hard from a beer garden whisky sour as news approaches from across the parish.

I may not be a knight of arts and letters, but I’d make one hell of a squire of article descriptions. Point me at a windmill!

Save us, news! Throw your light down the halls of ignorance! If I am not linked I have only these walls! Ah! News!

Waking up in a pool of sweat and one word glistens in the thick, humid air: NEWSLINKS.

What if… I GOT TIRED OF NEWS. I drop to the floor. But then I hear your claps, your cheers… I rise to my feet… one hand to my ear…

It’s vacation season! For you, NOT for the links. Get ready to pour this smoothie of blended information directly into your brain.

Further brief relief from the mind’s ache of the everyday.

Ah, news, the song of– wait, did we get an Eisner nomination? For BEST ARTICLE DESCRIPTIONS?! Oh my gosh, I am so honored! There’s no way Karl Ove Knausgård of ComicBook dot com can beat me!

Hmm, news. Don’t know what to make of it anymore. Used to be you’d glance at a paper on the stands, raise an eyebrow. Now it’s all modems. The weather…

“Hey everybody! Are you ready to talk about comics this week?!” The festival crowd masses forward and launches an enormous wooden plank directly at my head. I see Iron Man inside the sky.

The other week I learned my four-year old nephew has begun making little zines… laughing in genetic destiny.

Atop a hill enveloped in a blazing sunset, the children play.

I can’t believe I have to set foot in a church this weekend after looking at those Squeak the Mouse pages… but I have faith. Faith that these links will purify this fallen world!

You got it, Swee’Pea – it’s the untouchable report from the world.

There is no news today; instead, this post is a map to hidden treasure. Ha ha, April Fool’s! The treasure is inside all of us who share in the miracle of hyperlinks.

Reticence is nothing to the flying hand of news, and here is where it is caught.

Great news, I just won the Paresseux d’Or at Angoulême for best marginal contribution to a column about comic books! I’d like to thank Clark, Gary Groth, the ghost of Coulton Waugh, and all the teachers who did not wake me in homeroom. Grazie, amici!!

While many seek to feed the beast, we endeavor to nourish your mind.

The news is so treacherous right now. I’m thinking of becoming one of those people who responds to every story, regardless of topic, with “This is a god damned shame!” But you know what’s the opposite of “a shame”? The link above, friend.