News

You got it, Swee’Pea – it’s the untouchable report from the world.

There is no news today; instead, this post is a map to hidden treasure. Ha ha, April Fool’s! The treasure is inside all of us who share in the miracle of hyperlinks.

Reticence is nothing to the flying hand of news, and here is where it is caught.

Great news, I just won the Paresseux d’Or at Angoulême for best marginal contribution to a column about comic books! I’d like to thank Clark, Gary Groth, the ghost of Coulton Waugh, and all the teachers who did not wake me in homeroom. Grazie, amici!!

While many seek to feed the beast, we endeavor to nourish your mind.

The news is so treacherous right now. I’m thinking of becoming one of those people who responds to every story, regardless of topic, with “This is a god damned shame!” But you know what’s the opposite of “a shame”? The link above, friend.

Why? Because you are called.

Rocket elevator to information city, baby!

News is the only word for what we have here. News, and success. I mean the successful appearance of news, not news of success – that would be unusual.

Lawsuits! Lawsuits! None of you are without sin!!

Little do those fools know that this column of links is on the official curriculum… of everyone’s heart!

Those three little words we all long to hear: “It’s not NFTs.” And three more: “Friday link blog!”

I’ve been keeping a journal of inspiring phrases that pop into my head at night to use in this space. Last night I came up with “Reticence is Nothing to the Flying Man.” Is that any good? The rest were dirty.

No— no, I’m glad about the first snowfall of the season. More time to read the links, right? Ha ha, no, it’ll melt, I’ll just let it…

My god, the madmen did it… they’ve closed TCJ! For this year, that is…

Wow, there really is only one more week ‘till Christmas. I ought to buy edible gifts tomorrow; there’s probably still food left… you know what’s REALLY nourishing, though?

Leaving, moving, selling, getting bought – that’s right, another week in comics.

What a spread of links! I bet you thought the feasting was over; you fool… you fool!

Did you know Clark’s birthday is coming up? Happy birthday! There will be no column next week because the Americans are doing something with food.

Your local food court may be abandoned, littered with the debris of a departed era, but we have not abandoned: the links!

Nobody is ever going to fix my roof; water is just going to keep dripping in until the rainy season passes. Luckily, the supply chain has not disrupted the delivery of these links – digital insulation to warm your soul.

The wind is threatening to blow the walls off my building right now, but nothing stops the news! Join us in our affront to nature by clicking these links.