The overall arc of cartoonist Denise Dorrance’s graphic memoir is straightforward: Dorrance’s mother is suffering from dementia and needs to go into a care facility. Dorrance flies to the U.S. Midwest from London to help her make that transition; a winter storm hits, and the situation becomes more complicated than Dorrance expected. However, it's not the plot of the book that makes it compelling - it’s the emotional resonance and charming art that are worth the time.
Dorrance’s situation is similar to that of many middle-aged people, especially women, who are taking care of aging parents - a challenge exacerbated by physical distance. Dorrance left home years before, and though she sounds quite happy about that move in general, she’s less happy about being far away from her mother, and she struggles with the emotional rift that has sprung up between her and her sister. She often feels alone in making decisions, as many people do during stressful times.
All of those complications make the already-problematic situation of dealing with a sick parent more challenging. However, the real problem that Dorrance examines throughout the book is the insurance industry. At the care facility, a social worker talks through how Medicaid works with Dorrance, though the art portrays it as the two of them watching a movie titled "Are You Eligible for Medicaid?" Rather than clearing up the situation, this conversation only adds to Dorrance's stress, as the goal seems to be to get her mother home as soon as possible, even though Dorrance doesn’t think either one of them is ready for that.
This line of critique continues when a man drawn to look like a cliché federal agent shows up to talk through the insurance policy Dorrance's mother had been paying on for years. The man looks at his phone the entire time, repeated on the page like clip art, never raising his eyes to look at Dorrance or her mother as he relates the paltry amount the company is willing to pay: barely enough to cover one hour of home health care per day. Dorrance then has a conversation with Death, in which Death comments, “So, your parents faithfully paid for decades for insurance that gives your dying mother a pittance in return.” When Dorrance replies, “I feel sick,” Death adds, “I’m in the wrong business.” When Death is envious, it’s clear there’s a problem.
The cartoon iconography of Death is only one device Dorrance uses to convey the gallows humor of this situation. Death sometimes looms as a threat, pushing a wheelchair far in the background when Dorrance first takes her mother to the care facility, but he also cracks periodic jokes. When Dorrance feels stressed out about what to do about her mother, Death suggests that she “have a ciggie,” as she’ll “feel better.” Like the insurance industry, he’ll do what it takes to increase business.
Dorrance brings in other humorous techniques to help lighten the mood. When her mother is first admitted to the hospital, the doctor who shows up looks like Ben Stiller. That is to say, Dorrance pastes Ben Stiller’s face—from Zoolander, it appears—onto the doctor, who suggests that her mother will be on the cover of Vogue before him. Similarly, when Dorrance needs to talk to her mother about the options she has, Monty Hall appears to guide them through Let’s Make a Deal. Her mother comments, “That’s Monty Hall,” as if aware of the joke the author is making. Unlike in Let’s Make a Deal, though, Monty reveals what’s behind each of the three doors, and none of the options are good.
Some of the jokes critique culture in the United States from a certain remove; this not surprising, given that Dorrance has lived in England since the early 1990s. On her way to the care facility on a Sunday morning, she goes to “worship at Starbucks,” along with a long line of other parishioners. The Starbucks is drawn to look like a church, and Dorrance has to shout to place her order, which she describes as “a bit like praying to God, only louder.” Consumerism is American religion, and she becomes more of a convert the longer she stays, as her orders get larger. Similarly, since Dorrance wasn’t prepared for the weather or a long stay, she ends up at “the superstore,” as she calls it. She goes past the guns and camouflage clothing and ends up in food aisles that “are wide enough to land an airplane.” She tries to avoid any food she can’t recognize—especially a big jar on top of a stand labeled “Is it Food? Who Knows!”—and ends up with frozen dinners. Her commentary on America’s fascination for supersized low quality is clear.
Throughout, Dorrance deploys cartoon shorthand as a humorous counterpoint to what is literally occurring. When people are remarking on her British accent, she’ll draw herself with a crown and royal robe. When she’s trying to leave the house during the storm, she’ll portray herself as a homesteader, taking out the horse and sleigh (or horse and wagon before the storm), as if she’s a trailblazer rather than simply returning to where she grew up. At other times, though, this device serves as a veil drawn across bleak reality; when she drives her mother through the town to try to remind her of what she once knew, they go past postcards of famous sites in Cedar Rapids.
Of course, Dorrance can’t avoid the bleakness forever. In one moving scene, she finds a letter her father wrote to her mother before they were married that reveals emotions Dorrance never saw him convey in person. Similarly, she finds a letter from her aunt to her mother that changes the way Dorrance views both her mother and her sister. She reproduces these letters directly on the page, letting the reader engage with them in the same way Dorrance would have done at the time. Her relationship with her sister is a subplot that runs throughout the book - they were once close, but they began fighting during their teenage years, and they never seemed to have reconciled. The sister only shows up a few times in the book, but these are important moments, as Dorrance desperately wants her help, though they’re barely on speaking terms. It's one more part of her life that is falling apart and that she has to deal with.
It’s clear Dorrance loves her mother—she dedicates the book to her—which makes the challenges she faces so difficult. When her mother doesn’t recognize her, or makes hurtful comments, Dorrance feels as if she’s wasting her time; she longs to return home, though when she fights with her sister, Dorrance believes she’s the only one who knows what’s right for her mother. However, there are moments of light and joy that also run throughout the book, moments Dorrance clearly wants to share, to remind readers of why she does this thing that so many others have. Ultimately, the book is hopeful, while not sugar-coating the realities of caring for a parent with dementia.
