COLUMNS

Comics of the Weak Comics of the Weak

The Best Female Power Fantasy Is A Male Sexual Fantasy

B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth: The Long Death #2
By Mike Mignola, John Arcudi, James Harren & Dave Stewart
Published by Dark Horse

It should come as no surprise that this is an extraordinarily good comic book, albeit one that’s built around such extreme depictions of frenetic savagery that it probably deserves some kind of epilepsy warning. But to the cynic goes the spoils of expectations met: this is a great fucking comic, a thorny excursion deep into the arms of the thing serialized stories are most terrified of, conclusion. Tracing a trail of horror that stretches back to 2008’s superb Killing Ground arc, The Long Death is a blood-doused chamber, engorged with violence and resounding with finality. It isn’t the first time that a B.P.R.D. series has centered around a throbbing heart of scream-lined action; last year’s New World arc saw multiple sequences involving two-fisted handgun combat, as well as Roadhouse-styled pick-up truck aggression. But it is the first time the action isn’t being drawn by Guy Davis, and while it’s rather disconcerting to see “his” characters under another’s hand, James Harren’s work is beyond reproach. Mixing stiff, angular lines against the bulbous ripples of distended flesh, the increasing pace of Harren’s panels (multiple panel sequences in this comic take place in fractions of seconds) work like compressed explosions, popping like an underwater flare. The point of view swings wide, ignoring most of the rules of action movie filming, embracing the freedom of the comic page instead–we can tell a man apart from monster, so right to left can be interchangeable–only to find moments of terrible pause, while Dave Stewart’s tableau of sprawling red lists the outcome. This is it, right here: the major comic of the day, waiting for its coronation. Nothing else comes close.

Moebius 8: Mississippi River
By Jean Giraud, Jean-Michael Charlier
Published by Epic

This is the substitute for Blueberry that Charlier and Giraud came up with during a fight with Darguard Dargaud, and like Blueberry, it focuses on a the trials and travails of an ex-soldier following the Civil War. But beyond visual appearance, the similarities pretty much end there. Described by his translators (with some kindness) as “a loser,” Jim Cutlass isn’t the sort of character one is likely to fall in love with, and watching him suffer constant betrayal at the hands of everyone he comes across never stretches believability. Jim is a born loser. Under Giraud’s able hand, he looks like Jimmy Olsen swallowed Jay Leno’s jaw, and he emanates a gawkiness that can’t be hidden by the tufts of hair he sprouts during the war years. There’s something engaging about watching him try, which might be in part because he doesn’t seem aware of his own dire track record, but it’s hard to imagine spending a long period of time with him. Still, Giraud must have seen something, because he returned to him plenty, albeit only as writer. It’s a pretty book nonetheless!

Wonder Woman #7
By Cliff Chiang, Brian Azzarello, Jared Fletcher
Published by DC

It’s in the best financial interest of DC Comics to hitch their wagons to any controversy that might come their way, so don’t be surprised to see mention of this issue if you happen to go to any comics website besides the one you’re at right now: around these parts, we promise to give Not The Fuck. Hanging out in the back of this tale, following the introduction of Cliff Chiang’s inspired take on Hephaestus and a quick shout-out to the conclusion of Alien 3—which was a (this should sound familiar) big studio movie liked by almost none of the people involved in its construction, due mostly to the absurd demands placed on them by its producers, rich morons whose idea of creation was to create fake movie posters years in advance of the hiring of a creative team—you’ll find the new, the true, story of how the Amazon society works. Short version, delivered without Azzarello’s cum jokes (there’s at least three on one page alone!): three times a century, the Amazonians pick out a boat, fuck the dudes on the boat, murder said dudes post fucking, and then head back home, where some of them have babies (because of the fucking). If any of the babies are boys, they swap them with Hephaestus for weaponry. He makes the dudes wear those underwater diving suits from Garden of Souls, and that’s the tale of the tape. That’s why the Amazons are all women, and also why they have weapons. As of yet, there has been no controversy over the fact that Amazon women cannot make their own tools. However, the rest of this story has been received with some controversy, as millions of women attribute much of what they understand of femininity and virtue to the character of Wonder Woman. She is, without a doubt, the most important singular female influence of the last fifty years, which is why so many little girls often turn to their mothers, tears streaming from their eyes, drunk on gratitude for the stacks of Wonder Woman comics they’ve been lucky enough to call their own. And at a time when the rights of women are fast becoming another casualty of governmental manhandling, when the crude, sublimated misogyny of Santorum-types is treated like a viable public policy, what better way to stand up and fight for one’s feminist ideals than to look sternly at Messrs Chiang, Azzarello, & Fletcher and say, “Not on my watch will you sully the fictional history of my precious fucking Diana whatever-her-last-name-is.” We shall overcome, indeed.

OH MY GOSH HERE IS A GUEST COLUMNIST BREAK

————————————————————————
To give the Weak In Comics some context, here’s ABHAY KHOSLA with the only comics news you need:

So, there was a Wondercon last weekend? Wondercon is a mainstream-oriented comic convention, somewhere in California — which meant mainstream comic fans got to meet mainstream comic creators, and ask them the important questions of the day. An example from CBR: “One audience member asked the intriguing question of whether Ultimate Peter Parker died a virgin.” Marvel editors in attendance dodged that question, presumably in order to avoid a wave of existential panic rippling through the audience and triggering a stampede. The way these conventions are reported on, it always seems as though questions of well-meaning fans are received by the Comedy Revue of the Damned: “Someone asked [Mark] Waid what he thought of the ‘Elektra’ movie and he paused for a good five seconds before asking his iPhone. ‘Siri? What do we think of the Elektra movie?’ he asked, and he was met with complete silence.”

The story that received the biggest response from comic news sites is that Marvel Comics intends to revive its “Dazzler” character. Dazzler was an early 1980s superhero comic about the emotional travails of a female singer/mutated-human — sort of like the Marvel Universe version of Stevie Nicks, except Dazzler never had cocaine blown through a straw into her own anus. At least that was the famous rumor about Stevie Nicks, that during her addict years, she had groupies blowing cocaine into her rectal cavity due to the hole cocaine had bored in her nose. Nicks has denied it, but some stories, no matter how horrible, pointless, or implausible, refuse to die– Stevie Nicks with a straw in her ass; Richard Gere shoving a gerbil up his ass; King Edward II dying from having a red-hot poker shoved up his ass; Dazzler…

Across the aisle, DC had publishers Dan Didio and Jim Lee host a “Meet the Publishers” panel where they talked about ending hunger in Africa. DC apparently plans to use their expertise making comics to solve the problem of hunger in Africa, or to put it another way, millions will soon be dead of hunger in Africa. Whereas the similarly Africa-themed KONY campaign recently saw reports of its figurehead allegedly running naked through the streets, “perhaps masturbating,” the DC publishers tragically promoted Watchmen 2. Public masturbation would’ve been less disgraceful, but silver lining, coverage of the Watchmen 2 promotional activity included this delightful sentence: “A fan who had never read [Alan] Moore’s ‘Watchmen’ wanted to know if she had to read the original graphic novel.”

Didio and Lee also discussed their plans to publish a Girl With a Dragon Tattoo comic, so if you want to purchase a “Big Two” comic where a female protagonist is savagely raped, you can now purchase… let’s see… “all of them.” The correct answer is all of them.

The best news I saw relating to comics this last week, though, occurred prior to Wondercon: Image Comics partner Todd McFarlane admitted that he’s been writing under a pen name of Will Carlton for the last couple of years. Plus, he’s been giving interviews as Will Carlton in which he described in detail having gotten the job … from himself: “I feel like Todd [McFarlane]’s been good at giving opportunities to lesser known artists and writers, like myself [i.e. Todd McFarlane],” [said Todd McFarlane]. How much thought had gone into the Will Carlton persona?  Was Will Carlton a virgin when McFarlane negated his existence? Did Will Carlton ever have cocaine blown into his anus? Did McFarlane name Will Carlton after the lead characters of the French Prince television show, as Bleeding Cool speculates? Did McFarlane end the charade after tabloid gossip this last month of Will Smith’s alleged down-low “bromance” with actor Duane Martin? The correct answer to all of these questions is that no one cares because no one reads Spawn anymore. If we’re lucky though, Mark Waid might ask these questions to his iPhone, and comedy will ensue.
————————————————————————

NOW HOW ABOUT SOME MORE NEGATIVITY

Super Crooks #1
By Mark Millar, Leinil Yu, Nacho Vigalondo, Gerry Alanguilan, Sunny Gho
Published by Icon

The first of five new series to be released under the Millarworld banner, Super Crooks sees the prolific writer teamed with Leinil Francis Yu, most recently the artist on Millar’s Superior, which was a comic that totally existed, regardless of the fact that you will never meet anyone who remembers reading it. Super Crooks, like everything else in corporate comics nowadays that isn’t a post-apocalyptic tone poem, is a pretty generic concept exercise (the band-back-together stuff from Ocean’s Thirteen plus the overseas setting from Ocean’s Twelve as well as the sorry-i-fucked-up-our-relationship-but-could-we-bang-some-more-anyway? thing from Ocean’s Eleven) with super powers tossed in haphazardly. As with everything Millar does, Super Crooks is an indictment of the genre it is desperate to be a bestseller in, which is completely due to the fact that Millar’s creative muse makes for the weak sister when cast against his financial acumen: in other words, Mark Millar thinks he can’t make any money selling an overseas heist comic unless he puts the characters in spandex. He’s probably right; either way, this comic is about as interesting as laying in bed and trying to remember how the names of James Bond movies relate to their plots. A View to a Kill: there was a bridge?

The Avenger’s Prelude Fury’s Big Week #2
By Christopher Yost, Eric Pearson, Luke Ross, Daniel HDR, Mark Pennington, Chris Sotomayor
Published by Marvel Comics

Whereas Avengers Assemble is a “real” (meaning in-continuity) Marvel comic designed to draft off the upcoming film’s assumed success by presenting a super-team analogous to the one in the film, this is the actual Marvel comic movie tie-in, with traced photos of Hollywood stars and everything. (The image above? That’s supposed to be Scarlett Johansson.) It’s an ungainly beast, a mish-mosh of art styles delivering a plot that’s made up of odd, half-references to moments in the various Marvel films that have already been released. For example, it cuts scenes from the Thor film (in one case, it actually depicts one of that film’s characters watching what is, in effect, the film itself) together with scenes from the second Iron Man film, and then, surprisingly, the second Hulk movie, thus setting up the definitive timeline of the Marvel movies. (Apparently, all of those movies took place over the course of the same single week.) Having not read all of the issues, one can only assume that the four-part series will conclude with whatever happened at the end of the Captain America film, which I failed to watch for the understandable reason that I discovered the XVideos website right around the time it was in theaters. So, if you’re interested in having a Marvel creative type play all of those movies in a piecemeal, stop-and-start fashion, constantly pausing them to tell you all the bits that were deemed too boring to film, then this is as close as you’re going to get.

Saucer Country #1
By Paul Cornell, Ryan Kelly, Giulia Brusco
Published by Vertigo

This is the second new ongoing series from Vertigo. In keeping with their current paradigm, it has something people actually want (in this case, Ryan Kelly) along with something they are ambivalent or openly hostile towards (that would be the work of Paul Cornell, excepting a recent Lex Luthor-focused run on Action Comics). The hook for the series is on the final page, that is, unless you look at the cover, which spells it out pretty well. The main takeaway from reading it is that it has the potential to be extraordinarily preachy (“America is ready for a female, divorced, Hispanic President, if it’s you”) while still being pretty offensive. There’s an unusual couple of pages where it seems as if the main character believes her ex-husband anally raped her, only for it to be determined that, actually, it was just some aliens. Or maybe she just had her period. Or her eggs were stolen? Certain doors should either be fully opened or not mentioned at all in a comic book, and one of those doors is “why did the lady in the comic wake up in shock bleeding from her bikini area?”, because God knows that DC Comics has zero fucking business expecting the benefit of the doubt regarding the situations they put female characters in, especially when it comes to situations that might involve items going in and out of their bathing suit area.

Avengers: X-Sanction #4
By Jeph Loeb, Ed McGuinness, Dexter Vines, Morry Hollowell
Published by Marvel Comics

This is the final issue of a series few people seem to have paid attention to, if we’re going solely on what I feel like believing as I write this sentence down. It was a mini-series featuring Cable, the character who had previously “died” in an X-Men crossover that is mostly notable for being so bad that reading it caused TCJ.com editor Tim Hodler to give up on super-hero comics entirely. [Editor's note: I only read the thing in the first place based upon the enthusiastic personal recommendation of Tucker Stone. Caveat lector.] Cable returned to hunt the Avengers, who he believed were going to someday be responsible for killing his adopted daughter, Hope. Hope is a new character that no fan has any real emotional attachment to despite the fact that she has been a part of the X-titles since her birth, which may have been depicted on panel, perhaps by Chris Bachalo, because he used to draw the book when that story was published. That would be interesting to see, if it exists, as Bachalo draws hideous things extraordinarily well. The concept of him drawing human childbirth, which is diabolically revolting to anyone not emotionally and financially invested in its outcome, is the sort of concept that comics would do well to exploit more often, especially now that motion pictures do such a better job with super-hero stories.

Obviously, this comic did not end with Cable killing anyone; due to its brevity, it was pretty much just the story of those couple of hours when a sick old man kidnapped some guys who were then easily rescued by some other guys, who then made sure to humiliate the old man by making him go take a nap. Also, it turns out Hope is Phoenix, which means that Cable adopted and raised a little girl that in some ways used to have sex with Cable’s dad, Cyclops, and then he brought her back in time so that she could get older and maybe have sex with him again? That would probably be gross if I could understand what it means.

Kick-Ass 2 #7
By Mark Millar, John Romita Jr, Tom Palmer, Dean White
Published by Icon

This used to be a big favorite for non-super-hero comic readers, but then it kind of went sideways into this big art hole and all of a sudden it became really important that everybody shook their heads sternly at how racist and homophobic the whole thing was, especially as all of the other comic books were really impressive lighthouses of tolerance except for Kick-Ass, which was doing a bad job of advertising the medium to the content management firms that have come a-knocking so frequently as of late. The comic does pretty much suck, however, so it’s not like you’re going to find a defense of it here. The most interesting thing to say about it is that it comes across as way, way more fucked up after you read Super Crooks and realize that Mark Millar is perfectly capable of writing a comic book that features very limited hardcore violence and no racism or homophobia whatsoever. Kick-Ass: it was that way on purpose.


53 Responses to The Best Female Power Fantasy Is A Male Sexual Fantasy

  1. Sue (DCWKA) says:

    Jeez Tucker, that seems to be an amazing combination of reviewing, condescension and dismissal of women and their political discourse at the same time in that Wonder Woman review. Do you really think the women (and BTW it’s not just women) expressing concern with a plot point in a Wonder Woman comic book is the only way they are addressing the political shitfest around women’s rights? Because that’s what it sounded like. Perhaps I read this wrong?

    • BP says:

      This is just a guess here, but what I took away from Tucker’s comments on Wonder Woman was that literally any amount of time spent complaining about the current Wonder Woman comic is too much, and that energy would be better spent trying to protect women’s actual rights rather than trying to their perception in pop culture, especially a form of pop culture that is primarily consumed by guys who probably don’t even vote. Or just spend that time doing something relaxing like reading in the park. If that is actually what he meant and I’m not just projecting, then I’m inclined to agree.

      • Sue (DCWKA) says:

        Why does it 1) have to be either/or? Can’t a woman bring up concerns about issues and comics AND concerns about politics? Do we somehow give up our right to discuss comics because we are not the majority reader? And who decides how much complaining is “too much”? Is there a board or something that evaluates it? Is it you? Tucker? And what about people who aren’t women who share the same concerns? Do men’s concerns count more because they are the primary consumers of comics? Really this site is focused on the discussion of comics. The “hey it’s only comics” card seems really silly.

      • moose n squirrel says:

        Seriously. You can’t at the same time spend hours and hours reviewing this stuff – and getting paid for it, one assumes – and shrug any time something outrageously offensive comes up and go, “eh, it’s just a comic book, whatchagonnado.” The fact that mainstream comic books are largely written by and for aging white dudes is going to be a relevant topic of conversation when discussing mainstream comic books, particularly comics featuring female characters which, in a less-sexist field, might actually attract female readers, but under Marvel and DC act as adolescent male sex fantasies.

        If Tucker is irritated that people want to talk about stuff that’s obviously relevant to the topic that’s being reviewed, he could always, y’know, write about something else. But if he wants to review a genre that’s stuffed to the gills with sexism and racism, he should get used to the fact that there’s going to be people out there pointing out that it’s sexist and racist.

      • BP says:

        Yeah I exaggerated my point for some reason which obviously wasn’t effective at all. I guess I meant in the larger scheme of things, there are probably more worthwhile things to put energy toward. You obviously have a different opinion which I inadvertently inflamed, so I’m sorry about that, stranger on the internet.

      • Abhay says:

        I don’t think I’m inclined to agree with that, at least as phrased, but that’s not what I took away from that review really, at all. I think how a culture or even a subculture manifests its attitudes is interesting and worth caring about, especially because small manifested things can reflect big unmanifest-ed things. Sure, the little “here’s a sexist thing I found in mainstream comics” game might seem silly, from a “better ways to spend time” standpoint, but if it’s all just bloody footprints of more interesting wounds in a culture (which I subscribe to the belief that it is with comics), then I think that’s something else and maybe worth a moment of thought. (Also: DC actually has a very vibrant female audience at least online, and so I think I can’t agree with arguments premised on their existence being routinely negated, which happens a lot in these conversations…)

        But I think where I agree with you and where I certainly didn’t have a problem with what Tucker was saying, at all, is that … how those concerns get expressed can often become silly (especially where Wonder Woman is concerned) because there’s exaggerated arguments made about these things mattering more than they do because of the character having some intrinsic value to the author that’s being damaged that … at least I just can’t share that perception of value, and also, watching a character’s value being damaged is actually sort of a normal part of reading mainstream comics on account of mainstream comics. Or mattering more than they do because of a greater political conversation. Writing about this sort of inflation of the ego, and in turn, that’s worth being deflated… i.e., small things might reflect a bigger thing, but they’re still small things.

      • BP says:

        Yeah, ok, that’s a better point than what I said. I agree with you. I was exaggerating my opinion somewhat but probably didn’t need to.

  2. Joe McCulloch says:

    It actually wasn’t until this issue of B.P.R.D. — issue #88, according to the inside cover’s sequential count — that I’d realized what a long game Mignola & Arcudi have been playing with Johann’s character, very steadily building up his troubles until he’s (quite organically) become a cold, bitter, unhappy person, which is generally not where you expect a character’s arc to go in a superhero-ish comic like this… but that’s the beauty of having a tightly-controlled comic that somehow lasts this long, because sometimes the folks in control are interested in frustrating the expectations they know they’ve raised by merely lasting for so long…

    • Tucker Stone says:

      I absolutely agree. This week also saw the release of that third BPRD hardcover collection, and it’s so impressive to look back and see how far they’ve gone with Daimio as well. The moment in this issue when Johann tells him that it’s just too late, that sorry isn’t going to work anymore….these kinds of stories rarely get that kind of emotional punch, there’s so few places where one voice can stay in control for such a length of time. It’s not unlike the emotional heft that Jaimie was able to get out of Love and Rockets 4, to make good on moments that have accrued throughout years of serialization–it’s just that here, in a BPRD comic, it’s a moment where a dead moose is possessed by sentient gas to fight a were-jaguar-man.

  3. DyTh says:

    I don’t get it, TCJ.
    I mean, Tucker Stone seems like a nice guy and all. I’ve read his stuff, listened to him on Inkstuds, and he’s a smart, well-spoken guy. But why do I need Tucker to remind me (weekly) that mainstream comics are still in the main (and largely outside of it) complete shit?
    That’s why I’m here, TCJ; I had this realization years ago (something like Holder’s “Cable” moment) and would’ve given up on comics entirely if I hadn’t learned to love comics for comics, not “multiple sequences involving two-fisted handgun combat” or whatever.
    Tucker said it best, comics fans: “… (M)otion pictures do such a better job with super-hero stories.”
    So what’s the point?
    Yeah, it’s kinda interesting to hear from the guys who shop on the other side of the comic book store. And I guess there’s been something of a revival in the most unlikely (Extreme Studio) places, but didn’t we all find ourselves at TCJ because we got past the completely superficial ultra violence and soft core porn? Aren’t we looking for more from our comics — not just a nod to the masters of Japan and Europe in the latest Image comic, but someone who’s actually pushing the medium forward?
    Can’t we just smugly cluck our tongues at the “Watchmen” controversy and then go back to ignoring this stuff?
    The mainstream seem to be far better than when I was reading a lot of mainstream comics, back when Rob Liefeld used to draw his own titles, at least sporadically. But mainstream comics still speak only to a dwindling, aging number of mainstream comics fans. Comics’ future, whatever that may be, is elsewhere.

    • RickV says:

      You have to give up hard core violence to be a snob? FUCK THAT.

    • Daniel Jose Mata says:

      Frankly, I don’t think TCJ covers mainstream stuff enough, with and without favor. They’re comics too.

      Also, mainstream comics are getting new fans. Teenagers love Geoff Johns.

    • Tim Hodler says:

      I get where you’re coming from, DyTh, though obviously Dan and I disagree on the value of Tucker’s writing. (For what it’s worth, I enjoy his column even though I rarely have read any of the comics he reviews in it.) Keep in mind that we are not planning to diminish our coverage of other kinds of comics in any way, so there should still be plenty of material here that interests you. We are trying to expand our coverage of the medium, not narrow it. Like the crossword puzzle in a newspaper (or the comments section of a website), Tucker’s column may not be for all readers.

      • DyTh says:

        My comments shouldn’t be construed as critical of Tucker’s writing. I read the whole column and enjoyed it, just like last week.
        It was more to express my surprise at seeing TCJ embrace/endorse mainstream work (not that it hasn’t in the past, but not, to my recollection, this extent (meaning beyond the latest Mignola-verse spin-off)). And, yes, it was pretty much directed at you and Nadel.
        Thanks, Tim.

      • DerikB says:

        It’d be nice to see more coverage of avant-garde/experimental/non-genre-art comics too.

    • DerikB says:

      I like how Tucker’s columns allow me to laugh in snobbish condescension at crappy “mainstream” comics. And no, this is not sarcasm or irony.

    • Jeremy says:

      Motion Pictures do a LOT of things better then comics, if I’m gonna be completely honest. That doesn’t comics from being great.

      Kinda a bizarre argument there, when you think about it for more then five seconds.

    • Lightning Lord says:

      I know this is eons late, but I’ve been reading the archives of this column and all I have to say is that at least for me, you’re wrong. I’m not on TCJ because I hate mainstream comics, there are many that I enjoy. I’m on TCJ because I also love art and independent comics and I’m interested in reading interesting articles about them.

      I imagine that this holds true for many and to assume that every reader of this website, as a requirement, must hate the mainstream is pigheaded and idiotic.

      • R. Fiore says:

        The Lightning Lord has been here for weeks. Where the fuck is Thor?

      • Thor says:

        Ever anon must the God of Thunder come seconds after thou striketh, Lord of Lightning! Verily, thou art a greater nuisance than the farts of Volstagg!

      • Thor says:

        Be not aggrieved, oh Lordling. The Son of Odin merely must needs vent his enormous mirth.

  4. DyTh says:

    No, you don’t have to give up on ultra violence to be a snob. You can read “Bakune Young” instead of the same old super hero story dressed up in new tights.
    There are no new super hero stories.

    • Daniel Jose Mata says:

      Good call on Bakune Young.
      But, hey, Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E is pretty fun.

    • GeorgeWheeler says:

      read Seaguy by Morrison, that was a new superhero story.

      Anyway who needs new stories? I just want good stories.

  5. Andrew White says:

    This was a good one. You guys should give Abhay a column.

  6. Pingback: Quick Notice: Because There Are Reviews, There Will Be No Reviews. | Savage Critics

  7. ant says:

    That was the funniest thing I’ve read in ages. Tucker Stone is great!

  8. This was really good. 100% dead-on about BPRD. Also, that Abhay tag-in is tremendous. More columns need switch-offs like that.

  9. Jim Kingman says:

    Tucker, you’re as lively and funny as ever, but you need a review of some ’80s comic to offset, possibly enhance things here.

  10. Brian Franks says:

    Those reviews were hilarious and spot on. I’ll be laughing about the WW#7 review for weeks to come. I mean, really, lighten up Francis…er…I mean Tumblr. I love how they lionize Azzarello and Chiang as long as they get stories THEY WANT, but as soon as the writers make one false step (at least in the eyes of the hysterical “tumblr” crowd) they are immediately sexist misogynists. I saw this same thing happen when Gail Simone said she was shitcanning Oracle and bringing back Batgirl. They love her as long as she’s writing Secret Six, but fuck with Oracle and Gail then becomes an ableist sellout. Well, I got a message for the shit stirrers at tumblr. Fuck you and your hypocrisy and your entitlement. Get down on your knees and be damn thankful that someone actually cares about making WW interesting again (well, at least to the ones who have raised it up on the charts higher than it’s been in decades. Personally, I’ve always thought the character was crafted to be perpetually one dimensional with no room to go anywhere but lameville). I know, I know. I’m a sexist misogynist and I totally love it, so there.

  11. Tim Hodler says:

    Hey everyone –

    There’s room to disagree on these issues without turning the comment thread into a flame war/insult contest. Please try to control your rhetoric, and respect other commenters. We will be blocking comments that engage in personal attacks. Thank you.

    • To do anything less would be a grievous insult to the tone of civility and decorum established by Comics of the Weak.

    • Tim Hodler says:

      We have blocked several comments from readers more interested in attacking other commenters than making an argument.

      At the FAQ link, you can find our comments policy. For those of you who may be in doubt about why your comment didn’t show up, the reason can probably be found in there.

  12. Briany Najar says:

    From the CBR WonderCon coverage:

    Wein told the audience that while he had his “arguments with Alan [Moore] way back when,” he was thrilled to work with everyone on the new prequels.

    So, uh, that means… er…
    What does that mean?

    • Joe McCulloch says:

      It’s a bit muddled, but I’m presuming it means Wein (“he”) is thrilled to work with Jae Lee and John Higgins — and, by extension, the other participating writers and artists — on their segments of Before Watchmen.

      • Briany Najar says:

        Arf! (?)
        Yeah, it was the qualification that didn’t make sense to me:
        although he argued with Moore, he’s still thrilled to do this thing that
        A, doesn’t involve working with Moore, and,
        B, Moore’s openly not pleased about.

      • Joe McCulloch says:

        Oops, I misunderstood your question – no joke was intended!

        I’d say, then, that he’s referring to fights w’ Moore about additional Watchmen comics having occurred at some point in the past, but now he’s over it all (as opposed to Moore, who is clearly not) and he’s happy to be working on the prequels…

      • patrick ford says:

        Sounds to me like some sort of “pay-back.”
        Moore wrote Swamp Thing and maybe Wein had some grievance concerning that. Now Wein has the opportunity to show Moore what it feels like by writing some Watch-Men thing.

      • Briany Najar says:

        Oh, of course! I forgot about that Swamp Thing connection.
        Yeah…
        Meow!

      • Richard Baez says:

        Whatever acrimony is there may not be Swamp Thing-related.

        Moore says in an intro somewhere that Wein (who edited his first six or seven issues on the title before Berger, I think) was the one who originally contacted him over the phone about writing Swamp Thing. There’s a bit about Moore thinking someone’s pulling his chain and immediately hanging up before Wein convinces him that this is not a joke.

        Anyway, I look forward to learning about how everything we know about the Black Freighter is wrong – maybe it was really green all along.

    • patrick ford says:

      This kind of thing has deep roots. You can go back to Doyle, Baum, and Burroughs who all ended up resenting their most famous creations when they saw people loved The Watch-Men more than MARCIA OF THE DOORSTEP.
      If people really thought Alan Moore was a great writer they would be following his novels, rather than Johnny Weismuller.
      Is it any wonder Moore might suspect fans like the Watch-Men because it shows a man can anally rape a woman, and she’ll still love him, even though he’s a complete asshole in ever single possible way.

    • Allen Smith says:

      It means Wein needs the work. The paycheck. The moolah. The folding green. The scratch. The dough. The simoleons. The currency. The money.

  13. Brian Franks says:

    It would seem the blame for the WW thing would lay at the feet of Diane Nelson, no? But I guess it’s not as fun to call a woman a sexist misogynist. Death to the arguments made on tumblr, thy name is “Facts”.

  14. Todd Strending says:

    I have absolutely zero interest in almost every comic Tucker reviews but I find his reviews absolutely hilarious. If there is a more consistently funny column about anything, anywhere on the ‘net please let me know ’cause I haven’t found one yet.

  15. Tony says:

    It’s hard to imagine Kim Thompson not cringing a little at the general tone of the Jim Cutlass review, and the egregious misspelling of the name of the most important publisher in the history of the French comics industry is only the icing on the cake.

    • Kim Thompson says:

      Ah, his editors should have caught that misspelling. If you saw the raw copy we get in from many of our finest writers you’d have used up your cringes years ago too. I haven’t read the JIM CUTLASS story in decades so I have no opinion on Tucker’s tone, except I love it when he’s flippant about super-hero comics so if he wants to be flippant about stuff closer to my heart, what’s sauce for the goose etc. It’s minor Moebius/Giraud at best anyway. I’m on team Tucker! If he writes something I think is idiotic I’ll be happy to post a rebuttal telling him so.

  16. patrick ford says:

    Tucker should be writing super hero comics instead of reviewing them. I thought his interview with Tom Spurgeon was great. I assume he reads a lot of comics he hates because it’s part of his job seeing as he works in a comics shop. What ever reaction his comments generate would work best as part of the “entertainment” because his reviews are more like stand-up comedy than reviews, and the outraged reactions ought to be part of the funny business.
    My thought is he should have his own separate comments thread. The reason behind that is something like the Roger Brand comments thread. Since comments attached to any thread can hop around based on what ever previous comment they are in reply to, comments can be difficult to follow unless linked to from the comments side-bar.
    What I’m saying is if something really interesting was going on (The Brand thread) it would be unfortunate if a load of excited (if possibly entertaining…in a way) outrage swamped the comments side-bar.

  17. mateeor says:

    Ummmm…Good!

    I feel like Abhay could pretty much have any writing job he wanted, it’s that he uses up all his time making comics. Worstest hobby ever.

    BPRD is the best comic of all comics. Except Cerebus, maybe. Cerebus has just as much rape as any DC fan could want.

    Except it’s not prurient. She wanted it!

    If a woman tricks an animal into screwing her, I personally feel like the animal has the gripe, morally.

    In addition, Duncan Fregado killed it on Hellboy. Amazing. I’d persoinally rather look at Mignola drawings than Kirby any day, so I am real happy he’s back to the board. But Fregado was amazing. Just thought I’d say that, since his tenure already seems like a footnote, somehow.

  18. Nate says:

    I dunno why Tucker reads these books, but I can say, there is a certain pleasure to be gotten from reading bad comics. I dunno why, but I’m enjoying reading the Dark Horse Heroes (X, for example) and watching the utterly horrible 1990s “Ultra Force” cartoons. Somehow … it’s just fun to see how bad they could be. And then, once in a while, something will be good.

    This column has given me some new fodder!

  19. Abe's Regret says:

    CotW has been my favorite article on comics for a while now. I only dipped my toes into the Hellboyverse but thanks to Tucker I finally decided to dive in. Like most David Fincher films, I’m not sure I even like the comics but I have to respect them. There is a sense of dread in this comic that just doesn’t exist in any other book: the world is going in the wrong direction fast and the only people that seem to have a grasp on that don’t even have a toe-hold on their own lives and relationships. It truly is something to behold.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>