I'm sure most of you have heard about this strange man named DAVID SIM, creator of the most successful aardvark comic of all time, CEREBUS THE BARBARIAN (although I could be wrong about this -- I'm not sure if ALF counts). I uphold a strict "No Anthropomorphic Barbarians" policy when it comes to my reading habits, but I tried to read his much-circulated essay about THE FAIRER SEX. What's the big deal? Mr. Sim doesn't have time for the ladies anymore? Well, that works out well for everyone, doesn't it?

What I really want to know is, what's up with this guy, GERHARD, who people tell me works for Sim? He's very mysterious: nobody I've talked to can remember his last name. Now, knowing where Mr. Sim stands on the subject, I'd like to know the same of Mr., uh, Gerhard: does he have time for women, or does he only have time for Sim? Is this because he's afraid Sim will challenge him to a duel, mano a mano, or because he just really likes inking aardvarks? Does this mystery man have a girlfriend or is there something else going on? Has he joined with Sim in Holy Celibacy, or what? Clearly, this guy has some explaining to do!

But enough about that. I'm the luckiest girl in the world... no lie! You know how everyone and their brother is talking about the GHOST WORLD film, well guess what... I've already seen it! I shit you not! I got invited to a cast-and-crew screening in L.A. last month, and readers, this a must-see. I had really high expectations and the film exceeded them beyond my wildest dreams! Plus, the people-watching factor at the theater was a 9.0 on the Paparazzi Scale! I saw comedy genius DANA GOULD, crazy CRISPIN GLOVER, boogie knight JOHN C. REILLY, the sexy starlet THORA BIRCH, and more! As soon as it gets into the theaters, run, don't walk, because you'll dig it. A SPOT ON! thumbs-up to DAN and TERRY -- Good job, boys! You could teach Mr. Sim a few things about the ladies.

Now, guess who is the happiest boy in the world? I'm thinking it's gotta be JOE SACCO. Why? Well, even though he lost the HARVEY AWARD for "Best Original Graphic Album" to some sappy Vietnam book by WILL EISNER, he was awarded a GUGGENHEIM FELLOWSHIP last month! That's a fair trade, eh? Dadgum, I'm proud of Joe! He a really fine chap when it comes down to it, knows his craft like nobody's business, and always has time for the ladies. Spot On!